A couple days after Christmas Hannah came storming out of Gracie’s room and I heard the door slam behind her. “Gracie is making me a present and won’t let me in her room.” Declared Hannah in a winey, weepy, cry.
Isn’t that how it is for most of us? God has plans for our lives and doors he wants to open but we want it all NOW and we want those doors open all at one time instead of waiting for His perfect timing? I know that is the case for me.
This ordinary, everyday moment made me stop dead in my tracks. I pondered it all day.
I have not changed.
I am the same selfish human being as I was in my youth.
I have been struggling to see the blessings around me because I keep looking at the negatives in my life and rushing to the next good thing all while missing the beauty around me.
That may mean ignoring the chicken poop on the porch or the temporary pony pasture that happens to wind around the vineyard. But instead I will focus on the little girl in the back seat of the van who is telling me some wild story or my husband who helps me do those gosh darn dishes so I can rest for 5 minutes.
As Hannah continued to cry because Grace was making her wait to open her present, I turned to her; looked her in the eye and in a firm voice told her, “ Hannah sometimes we have to be patient and wait.”
Dang it!!! I haven’t even learned that yet as a grown woman. I want everything yesterday. Anyone else like that? Please tell me I am not the only one. Please?!? How is a 4 year old going to understand that concept if an adult can’t?
Our children can teach us things and remind us of our own actions in brutally honest ways. On this day Hannah taught me to look at where my heart is and the reasons for my hurried life. I am constantly striving for the next door to be opened and the next big event in life. All while forgetting to take in the quiet moments of today.
I often ask my Nana how she raised six kids. “Honey you just do what you gotta do. Sometimes that means sitting and watching them play. You may feel numb to the world for a while but it’s a stage of life, you’ll get through it.”
I reflect on those words quite a bit. I know this will not last and part of me wants to savor every moment, but then part of me loathes the fact that I have to do dishes upon dishes, change diapers, wipe butts, and dress in overly worn clothes.
It is a choice to look for the good and savor the little things in this stage of life. Would you agree? There is a lot to be negative about, but there is twice as much good to be thankful for. This thing called parenting is not easy but it is worth it. So today as I tend to a clingy sick child I will savor the snuggles because I know cuddle time is fleeting.
My new motto for the year is “Enjoy Today.” As I reach for my goals, I cannot loose sight of what it means to be a mother and a wife. I want to truly enjoy my family and the time I have with my children when they are small. Growing together as a family, making memories, and helping them unwrap Gods “presents” for their lives is the first priority and the reason I am their mother.
Blessings to you in this New Year and may you enjoy the ordinary moments in the days to come.